Accepting the rut

In an attempt to understand newsletters I signed up to another one. Matt D’Avella has one on “minimalism, habits, and productivity”. Matt D’Avella is more commonly known by his youtube channel, one I have followed for a while now. Providing insights in self progression and habit changing I have always admired his “simple living” style as well as his video and podcast productions.

Once you sign up to his newsletter you are (like most other newsletters) sent a welcome email. In the email he provides a link to a short 20 minute video he made during the time of also making his documentary on minimalism. While made at the time, this video has little to do with minimalism and a lot to do with making changes and how these people did it. He brought it down to 5 steps, which I want to explore in myself today.

1. Ask yourself questions

2. Write it down

3. let it go

4. take action

5. stay motivated

They say the first step is the hardest, yet in watching the short I realised I had been asking these same questions for years. A lot of the people he interviewed came from backgrounds where they had safe careers that in the traditional sense was successful. They then at some point came to a realisation that they weren’t happy or satisfied with this life, and so began asking questions about what they really wanted.

I don’t know what triggered it in my younger years but I quickly came to this same realisation in my teens. At the time this led to spout of depression which started with me feeling I was never going to be good enough for the traditional style of success, so why do anything? At the same time was the rise of social media and the start of “professional fun havers”. Those who built a career by doing what they love and following their passion. This became what I really wanted, to find what I love and get paid to do it for the rest of my life. Now that I had found an alternative lifestyle that can be also successful I came out of my depression and started looking for that “passion”.

All great motivational speakers tell people to “write it down”. If you have an idea write it down and pin it up so you can look at it everyday. I always love this idea, as an idea. I’m forever writing lists (something I got from my mom) and web diagrams as away of exploring an idea. However, this is usually where it ends. I never know how to feel about the act of writing ideas down. On one hand I see the benefit of getting it out of your head and fleshing it out (case in point this newsletter), or simply looking at it differently a few days later may change your perspective on it. However, at what point do we start curating what we write. If we keep the writing to ourselves in a journal it becomes very easy to ignore or dismiss (our brains are our own worst enemies); while if we give it out to the public online they will judge it and that dismissal can be more hurtful. I think it is a line we have to toe as creators on a regular basis. We have this urge to share ideas and hopefully act on them. They will be scrutinised by ourselves or by others. As I said before; trying something is better than doing nothing. And so, I continue with this endeavor of writing my idea down facing up against my own scrutiny and others.

Letting things go is most certainly my biggest challenge. In Matt’s video he explains how this step was one that came up naturally as the people he met were all letting go of physical items too. The act of decluttering a room or social profiles can by proxy declutter the mind. How do I give up my self doubt or fears when the choices I make have to be the right one. With two kids and a full time minimum wage job I do not have the flexibility or resources to change paths like those in his video. I need to be sure that this idea is going to give me the level of security or comfort that I am hoping for. If it does not succeed then I am like a lotto winner, back to where I am now, and no better off for it.

Fourthly, the big one. The step that is most marketed, most talked about, and most crucial to making any change and having any success. Taking action has spawned brand logos and internet memes ( a la Shia le beouf). Again the challenge of this step is like its predecessor. Which action do I take? With limitations and excuses at my disposal how do I know that taking one action is better than another.

The uncertainty of this decision leaves a lot of people stuck and why so many people do not end up following their passion. However, as many motivational speakers would tell you, the simple act of trying something is greater than doing nothing. If you do nothing you are guaranteed to be in the same position 100% of the time. If you try something, even if it is wrong, you will have gained some experience which can move you into a better position to take the right action you need. As such, this answers my fear of step 3; if you don’t play the lotto you can never win it. This newsletter is me playing the lotto. It is a small step that I do not know if it will make any changes, but I have to try something. So here goes nothing.

Finally, staying motivated. We all have our off days as is expected in anyone who juggles so many things going on in one day. What keeps me motivated and coming back again and again to this idea of mine is a variety of things. Firstly, I want to provide a sustainable life for my kids and partner, to be able to give them a solid base from which to grow their own lives; Secondly, I believe I will get a lot of enjoyment and fun out of creating new content 5 days a week and having that as my main career and source of income. Lastly, it will satisfy my need for an “outside the traditional” career.

If like me you find yourself in this limbo of wanting to do something different but unsure what to do or how to pursue it, follow Matt D’Avella on all social media including the newsletter. It will hopefully, like me, help you get “Unstuck”.